Everyone knows everyone in Sydney. Most people have already figured that out. Here at Side Street, we have friends in the artists that we interview, the bands that we profile and are always finding ourselves surrounded by an endless array of interesting, creative people. Whether it’s six degrees of separation or the result of one too many catered events, at the core of it all we’re a tightly knit group of individuals trying to make our mark (read: stain?), and hopefully make it a mark worthwhile.
One such individual is man about town and Twitter hero Jonny Nail. As co-founder of Polaroids Of Androids alongside Mike Pierce, what once began as a weekly podcast is now his personal means of unrestrained fanboy praise for the various going ons within the Australian music scene.
We accept that Jonny is some kind of genius, and in between photoshopping images of Lil B onto Portia de Rossi he filled in the blanks for us. You can’t rely on the state system to fill in all of your educational gaps, kids.
Hi, my name is: Jonnythan Androids III
And some of my projects include: Polaroids Of Appleroids - a cider business, Polaroids Of Scamroids - a Nigerian Prince business and; Polaroids Of Androids - a really really serious business. About music.
My role there is: chief Intern.
Which means I: get coffee for the big boys upstairs and try and convince everyone we should listen to my band's demo on the work stereo.
I started the website when: I couldn't find a real job. Everyone else was busy fighting the oppression so there was a real gaping void for me to fill. "The recession we had to have" - Sir Paula Keating.
We try and write about music that's: LOUD, rude, obnoxious, cuddly, friendly, chummy, chubby.
Because: life is easy. I mean, walk outside right now and suck it in. It's life. And it's a completely manageable entity. Life is easy pretty much all the time. I mean, one minute you're sipping Piña Coladas with your loved ones and then next minute you're listening to that new Twin Shadow record in the back of a party bus.
The hardest part about starting out was: working out how to use email. Then Google replaced the E with a G and life got easy again.
My greatest achievements so far have been: skateboarding on SPOD's ramp. Actually more like pretending to skateboard. The ramp is/was in his living room. That boy knows how to live. There was also this great time when someone told me that I got them listening to Menomena and they were “frothing” over them.
I write because: I can't dance.
And I couldn't do anything else because: I'm a social nightmare. Hiding behind words is easy. Like life. And my wife.
But the worst part is: getting given free CDs all the time. I live in a small apartment and have no room left for other great possessions like funky lamps, poodles and autographed naked 50 Cent posters.
But it’s made up by: the CDs are FREE! And I can sell them on eBay under funny fake name/s. And take them down to my local record store and ca$h like 50 of them in for a Fabulous Diamonds 7".
I got my first break when: ... Still waiting. Patiently.
And now: And NOW. Well, I don't really look at Web Stats but I'd assume we're in the Top Ten Internet Hotspots.
My favourite thing to do is: smoke bongs, ride my BMX, steal p0rn from the service station and live The Suburban Dream.
My current favourite local act is: Tucker Bs.
My favourite musician as a kid was: 2pac
And if I could interview anyone I would choose: 2pac. Mostly to question him about the details of the most successful fake death of all time.
I’m utterly hopeless at: most things. But as the rulebook always says, "fuck 'em long, fuck 'em good".
But highly skilled at: fucking. Obvs.
But my friends will tell you: well somewhere between those two. Depending on where our relationship currently stands.
When people ask me what I do, I tell them: I work in finance.
But they often think it means I: am a boring fuck.
But the only part that’s true is: I count $$$ all day. Serious $$$ from selling hopes/dreams and ca$hing in unwanted CDs.
My advice to anyone with the hope of making writing a part of their career is: don't. No, actually...
And always: keep the sunshine on the right side, be REAL. Fuck re-writing press releases for people.
But don’t ever: fake the funk on a nasty punk.
Another thing you should know about me: I don't really like Little Red.
My main goal is to: Ride The Lightning.
And in five years I’d like to: be able to get paid enough from doing this to set up a nice little nest egg for my children.
But for now I’m: happy just answering heaps of questions.