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Lesson Learned


Sometimes, a dramatic moment can start with a tiny, thoughtless decision. So there I was, checking my email in a rare quiet moment at work, when I noticed a friend request from Facebook. I was surprised by this because, frankly, I’m already Facebook friends with my friends.

This time, it was not my mum. In fact, the name and the face were completely unrecognisable to me. Like any responsible social networker, I paid no attention to it whatsoever, until a few days later when this person sent me a message asking if I attended a certain high school some time ago. Should I have responded? No. Did I? Yes, yes I did.

We weren't exactly friends in school and I was only at that school for like a year. I wouldn’t suggest that this person was unlikeable or horrid in any way; just completely insignificant to me. I can remember the name now, but I literally cannot recall her face. Being moderately polite, if a little mean, I thought to myself, I'll just hit accept now and then remove her a couple days later... Nobody would get offended and I could go back to Facebook normalcy. What a foolish, foolish mistake.

Heed my advice, “friends”: learn to love the Ignore button. Acknowledge that you are selfish and under no circumstances hit Accept to people you are not friends with. Ever.

If you don’t, the outcome may well suck more than you could have ever imagined, particularly if it turns out that your new friend wants to interact at all, or, as in my case, message you and write on your wall. You’ll think to yourself, “Perhaps people can change. Just because we had nothing in common back then doesn’t mean she’s not interesting now!”
That will be a lie.
The fact is, all it takes is a good read of your new friend’s profile to discover that time doesn’t change inherent differences.

My new friend’s favorite music is 80s and Creed and Usher, and her favourite activities are things like motor racing and darts. And right under favourite quotes is the line, “God understands our prayers even when we can't find the words to say them.”
No. Nothing in common.

Okay, so that’s mildly irritating at best; just delete the friendship, you suggest. Well, even if being so brutal isn’t exactly all that difficult, such a task is, in this case, impossible, given the casual mention of the death of her husband a few months ago from some painful disease, and her subsequent status as a single mother. And boom! Friends for life.

So here I am, for the unforeseeable future, talking kindly to a stranger about her dead husband. And Creed.


words: Kristen Hodges
photo of Selfish Cunt stolen from this site

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